Hello Reader,

Happy Friday, mon petit pois! I hope you are well. I hope you are fantastic. I hope this week has been magical, and if not, at least it's over. (Any sentence starting with 'at least' is a surefire way to know when someone lacks the proper skills to communicate their empathy. Anywhooo...)

On with the email...

I'm having a crisis of confidence, and how I'm fixing it ⬇️

I talk a lot about confidence, especially body confidence, concerning body image.

And I think in different situations and experiences and trying new things, we all want to feel more confident occasionally.

When I think of confidence, I think of calmness, contentment, and being in control. You're maybe feeling lots of different things, but overwhelmingly you feel a sense of 'Okay, well let's give it a go then'.

Full transparency, I am not feeling confident about building 'Big Girl' things for my business.

I'm revamping my podcast, trying to build a website, and creating a mini-course.

I KNOW what I'm doing in terms of my JOB.

I am a good coach, and not because I think that* highly of myself, it's because I go to painstaking lengths to be good at what I do.

A good coach doth not a web designer make...

Now, luckily for me, I attended a webinar on Confidence last week run by Practitioner Psychologist Hugh Gilmore, who had the pleasure of training me in Level 3 Motivational Interviewing.

I did this webinar to add to my toolkit for my clients, but as it turns out, I've found it rather helpful for myself, too.

Let's break it down, and hopefully you can use some of these tips and tactics for yourself, for whatever you wish you had more confidence in.

First, we have to work out where we are exactly:

1. Am I capable? Objectively, yes. I logically KNOW I can do all of the above. (As we know, logic only gets you so far)
2. Do I have the resources? Yes, I have both the time, and money to put behind the things I'm looking to create.
3. Is it important? Yes, it is! I absolutely love what I do, I work really hard to be an effective coach, and I want to help more people. I can't do that if no one knows I exist or what I do!

So where's the 'but'? Where is the bottleneck? Which domino makes the line fall?

Because so far, it's looking like a pretty clear 'just do it, Rach', right?

Here's my but...

I feel this niggle of 'What if I fuck it all up', 'What if I can't figure out how to build a simple little Wordpress template?' 'What if it takes longer than I think, won't that screw up my schedule?'

I have the capability, I have the resources, I have the DESIRE and I have a bunch of little niggles that make it harder for me to take action.

When you force yourself to do something, it can feel like 'willpower', but when something feels good, we tell ourselves we're 'really motivated'.

Watching YouTube videos of various WordPress templates feels like willpower. (Can't I go outside and play with ponies instead? No, okay...)

We know confidence can be BUILT. I don't have to white knuckle this whole process and get to the other side a shivering, mentally depleated shell of myself.

Now, depending on what it is that you're struggling with, there are many approaches available to help build confidence. We're going to focus on the things that are easiest to implement and have helped me the most in the last week.

Just give me your confidence-boosting tips already, lady...

1. a VISUAL "Confidence Boost"

• Maybe little notes of times you felt confident, obstacles you overcame that made you feel confident in the long run, things you know to be true about yourself

Mine is in the Notes App of my phone:

You don't have to use the Notes app, make it a jar filled with little notes to yourself, a picture frame you tack experiences to, make it visual and easily accessible, and keep adding to it.

Even the practice of making my 'Confidence Boost' note on my phone, I felt a wave of relief, 'Oh yeah, I can do this.'

2. Make the big task very, very small. Take a deep breath and do the smallest next step. Getting dressed to go out feels too overwhelming because your Bad Body Image Ghouls are convinced everyone will be looking at you when you get to the event. Start by just picking the playlist you'll listen to whilst getting ready...

• I went and made all of my big projects into small, manageable step-by-step tasks with a rough time estimate so I can more accurately plan without worrying I'm neglecting myself or my clients in this 'big build' phase.

3. Remember, you don't have to be confident; you have to be brave.

As my Aunt Tamara likes to remind me when we're having 'big life chats', there are only three things in life you can't undo. You can 'undo' almost everything.

My motto is 'be decisive,' not because I am encouraging impulsivity, but because I know I could talk myself out of action by taking too long to make a decision. And I can always change my mind once I have more information later on...

Confidence is a verb, I have to build it by doing rather than thinking.

What would making your own "Confidence Boost" change for you? What would you be doing right now if you felt more confident?

I'd love to hear what you get up to ☺️

We got this.

Speak soon,

Rach

​

xx Rach ​ ​​​​

Portland House Westfield Road, Leighton Buzzard, England LU7 9GU
​Unsubscribe · Preferences​